Reality

At this point of time, I am feeling sleepy. As a matter of fact, I am drained out of my energy - no thanks to the pressurized studying. So I am pulling off the last strain of my consciousness to post this one. I hope you won't mind my language. I am not rational enough to consider any grammatical aspect of my blog now. Yes, I am THAT tired. Throughout this week, I set focus on my studies and my assignment at hand. I dedicated most of the days on those, I don't really spend a whole day to unwind. Sanely I took notice of how ridiculous these actions are but it simply cannot be avoided. Every time I utilize this blog as my small window of opportunity to escape from this reality. In case you didn't notice, I always mention about reality in my recent posts. It can't be helped. Reality bites. Correlating to the reality issue, let's talk about my life at this moment. I guess it's my turn to turn the melancholic side of me. Talk about being so emo - my friends posted theirs recently and so it is my turn now.
Reality will be my central issue about my life now. The true insight of the real life and the fragments of what is to come. I am not talking about life. I am talking about growing up. Adulthood. Being independent. I want the latter, who would refuse it. Everyone aspire for a life without control. Without pressure of any limitations. Without any form of imposing rules and regulations. No bars and strings attached. No parental guidance (but this can be useful sometimes though). I am not in the exclusion list. I am always hopeful for that. But lately I had been taught by certain accounts that had took place and the main message was reality of life is ugly. For instance, my former pathetic self of being cashless. I took the last alternative which really wish not to go for. I begged for money from my parents, literally. If I cannot survive this, imagine this scenario during my adulthood. There are some other accounts which I want to share but privacy forbids. Then there are (silly) usuals. Kelantan is the last place I picture myself to be in. Yet nightmare-turned reality had hinted me glimpse of my failure to adapt myself to the dynamic nature of my surroundings. After being so used to be pampered by the comforts of home, reality (yet again) struck me of how feeble I am living in conditions that I am not familiar with. But in the end, reality shows mercy. There is a blessing in disguise. Just earlier today (yesterday is the proper context as of this moment), I had received the JPA loan after giving high hopes of the deposit to be done within this week. Conjecture proven true. Then I begin to suit myself well in this rut campus, likely due to the excellent connectivity of internet which I fully use now. A score for me in adapting to life here. But above all, I have friends whom I walk side by side in facing this so-called challenges of reality. Just crossed my mind; friends are good remedies of the broken heart. They are the ones who willing to walk together with you and overcome any hurdles ahead with arms joined hand to hand.
Okay I give up now. Being emo and feeling so sleepy while expressing it makes me look like an idiot writing a poem, or a J.K. Rowlings writing books on behalf of John Grisham, or George Lucas directing Brokeback Mountain, or mixing tuna and peanut butter for sandwich. It's a bad combination, that is what I am trying to convey

Ps: Not at peak of my emo state yet.
OnTrack: Sora wo Torimodoshita hi (Shakkazombie)